I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"