so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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