Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide