Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
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Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide