On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.