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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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