my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i would punch a child for taco bell
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last