I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"