That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried