That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried