My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.