He told me they were just razor bumps!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"