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Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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