Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.