Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work