At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments