Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
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who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty