I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"