Texts From Last Night

Texts from January, 2012

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.

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  (604): Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl. http://tfl.nu/vf15
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome

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  (215): Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome http://tfl.nu/3oqn
  Replies (14) Good night (1226) Bad night (1222) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Some girl just showed me her stretch marks

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to get out of tn

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  (304): Some girl just showed me her stretch marks (757): You need to get out of tn http://tfl.nu/alqm
  Replies (7) Good night (414) Bad night (1427)
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  (420): View more from

  It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.

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  (420): It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own. http://tfl.nu/cuwi
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.

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  (206): I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python. http://tfl.nu/mdf6
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?

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  (561): Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose? http://tfl.nu/uaga
  Replies (10) Good night (455) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.

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  (920): Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be. http://tfl.nu/nyya
  Replies (2) Good night (1225) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.

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  (404): The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad. http://tfl.nu/jenx
  Replies (8) Good night (733) Bad night (1803)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

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  (630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday http://tfl.nu/2qux
  Replies (1) Good night (1149) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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  (505): I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am. http://tfl.nu/o50r
  Replies (25) Good night (3411) Bad night (557)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?

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  (303): Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night? http://tfl.nu/dyw8
  Replies (11) Good night (1963) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..

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  (305): What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on.. http://tfl.nu/a0r6
  Replies (6) Good night (1343) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.

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  (614): Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop. http://tfl.nu/e8lv
  Replies (7) Good night (612) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better

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  (519): I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better http://tfl.nu/3fte
  Replies (12) Good night (1119) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises

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  (306): You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises http://tfl.nu/ccm4
  Replies (4) Good night (1533) Bad night (855)