Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?