that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?