Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The Olympian is in my bed