Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm having to shit out rocks
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal