I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father