The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.