Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (978)

Last Night in Massachusetts (978)

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I would do horrible things to your vagina.

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Prove it.

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(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3

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Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good

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(978): Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good http://tfl.nu/k903

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just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors

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(978): just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors http://tfl.nu/9psa

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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

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(978): i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running. http://tfl.nu/jcc8

Replies (76) Good night (16227) Bad night (1864)
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i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

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(978): i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf http://tfl.nu/hwzk

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i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

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(978): i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven http://tfl.nu/9auj

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Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.

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(978): Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant. http://tfl.nu/yb46

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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

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(978): I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now. http://tfl.nu/xddc

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went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed

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(978): went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed http://tfl.nu/x5dq

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Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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(978): Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially. http://tfl.nu/gw0l

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Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.

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(978): Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win. http://tfl.nu/r148

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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING

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you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.

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(978): I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING (617): you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me. http://tfl.nu/bj47

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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i

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She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

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(978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo http://tfl.nu/4j6u

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You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.

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(978): You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy. http://tfl.nu/bldo

Replies (18) Good night (7650) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Massachusetts (978)

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Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

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Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

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