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im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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