im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"