I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns