I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job