I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised