Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (925)

Last Night in California (925)

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period poops. best. ever.

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omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...

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(831): period poops. best. ever. (925): omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that... http://tfl.nu/lwj4

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First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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(925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi

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Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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(925): Should I have kids to fix a relationship?? http://tfl.nu/aeth

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his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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(925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7

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just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)

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(925): just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :) http://tfl.nu/2ogg

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We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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(925): We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/vmkf

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They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.

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(925): They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah. http://tfl.nu/e2zc

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Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.

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(925): Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress. http://tfl.nu/wf9p

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(415): View more from California

did we hook up?

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no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt

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(415): did we hook up? (925): no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt http://tfl.nu/pm3u

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booty call

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i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.

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(408): booty call (925): i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy. http://tfl.nu/xuna

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Wait, how do girls masturbate?

(1-925): View more from California

I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

(925): View more from California

..how does it fit?

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(925): Wait, how do girls masturbate? (1-925): I dunno we use shower heads I guess. (925): ..how does it fit? http://tfl.nu/ktf5

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It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

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(925): It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article. http://tfl.nu/yngr

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Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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(925): Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay? http://tfl.nu/89t2

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I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.

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(925): I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point. http://tfl.nu/b8y5

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He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me

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(925): He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me http://tfl.nu/mntk

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Last Night in California (925)

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