What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
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maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...