Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle