and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
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the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
smell my finger.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
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who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.