Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Minnesota (612)

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.

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  (612): is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused. http://tfl.nu/sovs
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  I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people

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  (612): I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people http://tfl.nu/8cwf
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  the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher

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  (612): the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher http://tfl.nu/eecw
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  I want your puppy

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  I meant pussy

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  I would rather you take my puppy

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  (507): I want your puppy (507): I meant pussy (612): I would rather you take my puppy http://tfl.nu/alg5
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  smell my finger.

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  (612): smell my finger. http://tfl.nu/i0ta
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  I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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  (612): I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles http://tfl.nu/ysmu
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  I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

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  again?

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  (612): I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job. (651): again? http://tfl.nu/ai0g
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  who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part

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  (612): who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part http://tfl.nu/ohmf
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  Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.

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  (612): Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place. http://tfl.nu/cfbh
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  life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.

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  (612): life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix. http://tfl.nu/ht0i
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  Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?

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  (612): Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong? http://tfl.nu/gz8r
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  only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

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  (612): only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday. http://tfl.nu/1ia2
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  hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good

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  who is this?

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  jesse's little brother

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  (612): hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good (651): who is this? (612): jesse's little brother http://tfl.nu/8x0e
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  Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

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  (612): Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery. http://tfl.nu/hvee
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  Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.

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  (612): Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy. http://tfl.nu/a2lr
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