his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.