Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.