i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.