Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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