I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America