So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
