his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
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Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
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It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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