Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
