The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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