he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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