He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
