Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize