What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i believe in u and ur pee
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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