She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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