If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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