i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm determined to sit on that face.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
