May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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