Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize