She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
