Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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