if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
