threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize