Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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