who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
