tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
