bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
