K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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