my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
