I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
